


Acoustic

by wordsareleftbehind (froggydarren)



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 19:45:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/777306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froggydarren/pseuds/wordsareleftbehind





	1. It's Over Now

**I tried to be someone.**   
**But I don't know how. I don't know how.**   
**I've tried to be the one,**   
**But it's over now.**

He watches as Chris walks down the aisle towards him, eyes shining with the same spark he'd watched for years. It's Kurt's "Blaine face", the one Chris can set so easily.

There was always a little hope through the years in Darren's heart that some of that look might have not been completely in character. He knows that his own "heart eyes" weren't exactly a testimony to his acting skills. Maybe not at the beginning, but from a certain point on, all he needed to do was look at Chris and the stars appeared immediately.

"Do you…" Mark delivers his line perfectly.

They'd chosen Puck to perform the ceremony for Kurt and Blaine, the wedding being one of the last scenes in the show as it is coming to a close for Darren and Chris. Neither of them renewed their contract for the following season, even this episode is more of a fleeting visit for their characters.

"I do," Chris says and Darren shivers, looking straight at the face in front of him.

"Do you, Blaine…"

He nearly misses his cue, because he's drifted into a daydream for a moment. The name on Puck's lips isn't his, though, or Chris', it's the _characters_ getting married.

"I do," Darren whispers, almost low enough for them to have to repeat the scene so the microphone can catch the words.

There's more talking, though Ryan decided to not go with personal vows in the scene, leaving the speeches for the reception scene they'd already shot.

"You may now kiss the groom," Mark says with a Puckerman smirk, wiping in character tears out of his eyes.

Darren leans in and his lips touch Chris' in a chaste kiss. Still, after years of pushing boundaries, they're keeping it at PG level because nothing has really changed.

"Cut!" Ryan shouts from the sidelines and Chris exhales and immediately shakes off all Kurt characteristics, including eye contact.

And that's when it finally hits Darren.

_This was the last kiss. Ryan isn't saying anything about another run through of the scene, everyone is leaving. This is it. Nothing more left to shoot. No more Chris._

There's a commotion as he finds himself hugged and kissed by everyone from the old and new cast, but it's all a blur. His eyes keep searching for Chris who's lost in the crowd, everyone wanting to wish them both luck, because now all they need to do is pack up their belongings, clear out the trailers and leave.

Reality hits Darren hard and tears sting his eyes. He knows this is possibly the last time he'll see Chris and he wants to say goodbye, but not really. They've had their ups and downs as friends, they had drunken hook-ups, they kissed on and off screen, though the sober non-scripted kisses were only rehearsal ones. He is painfully aware of Chris' policy of not getting into a relationship with co-workers, which might be a non-issue now, but Darren's continued "straight" label isn't.

He tried, but the label stuck with him and it's one of the reasons why he's standing there, frozen still as Chris meets his eyes across the room. They walk towards each other and find themselves in an embrace.

"Thank you," Chris whispers, "you were… the best on-screen boyfriend I could wish for, Dare."

_I want to be more!_ Darren screams on the inside, _I want to be that person off-screen. I love you._

But he doesn't say anything, opting for a mumbled "I'll miss you." instead. He's tried before and Chris made it clear it wasn't going to happen.

"I'll miss you too," Chris smiles when he pulls away, blissfully unaware of the pain in Darren's eyes, "Goodbye, Dare."

Darren watches Chris disappear back into the group of their friends and doesn't even try to hide his tears anymore.

_I'm never saying goodbye to you_ , he thinks as Chris disappears from his sight, _never._

 


	2. Just An Empty Space

**How can I just let you walk away,**   
**just let you leave without a trace**   
**When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh**   
**You're the only one who really knew me at all**

It shouldn't have been the last they saw of each other. He'd run into everyone else from the cast in LA, they made plans to meet up and hung out at shows, clubs and each other's houses. They all tweeted up a storm not just in the days immediately after the last day, but continued on for weeks after. Everyone except Chris, it seemed.

_He's busy, he's got so much going on with the script and at Disney and his movie and there are still post-Glee interviews and…_

Darren checked out halfway through every single explanation for why none of them have heard from Chris, because none of them mattered in the end. He'd expected it, in a way, because they all went their separate directions and none of them had time to spare, really, but Chris not staying in touch stung like hell.

"He's good," Lea supplied unhelpfully one evening when a few of them met for dinner in New York.

"Oh?" Darren looked up from his plate, though he'd only been pushing his food around on it.

"We'd been texting," she continued and completely missed the flash of pain across Darren's face, "he's overworking as usual, but it's good to hear from him from time to time. He's so excited about the movie, it's adorable."

"Yeah…" the tremble in Darren's voice didn't register with Lea, but he felt Harry's eyes on him, "Yeah, that's great," he finished, trying to keep his voice steady.

"He looked so good too, last week," she continued, still too caught up in her excitement to pay attention to anyone else, "we should've done this dinner when he was here."

Those few words were the last straw for Darren. He stood up, slightly unsteady on his feet, but determined to just go, run away and hide.

"Darren?" Lea looked up from the table and straight at him and realization was written all over her face, "Dee, I'm…"

"I have to go," he barely whispered, "I just… I have to go."

He tossed a few notes on the table and rushed out, not listening to the voices calling out his name. Hating that he basically made a fool out of himself in the restaurant, he managed to stop himself from running once he was in the street. New York was perfect in that moment, drowning the noises in his head almost out, but it wasn't enough.

_He never cared, you just imagined it all._

Trying to keep his composure more, Darren slipped through the crowd of people, all in a rush to get somewhere, unlike him. He just wanted to get away. As far as possible from the reach of the people who were blowing up his phone with text messages and calls, away from memories of things that never were, away from himself.

_It was all in your head, he's just glad to be away from you._

Darren finally turned his phone off and tossed it in his pocket, the picture on the screen flashing through his mind. Of course, it was a picture of Chris, from the filming of the Kurt and Blaine wedding, from the last moment they had together.

_Except it wasn't really together at all, was it?_

He didn't know where to go, so he kept walking through the streets full of people who had no idea, who didn't notice the tears in his eyes that he gave up on holding back, through the darkness and the streetlights, trying to let go.

**So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space**   
**And there's nothing left here to remind me,**   
**just the memory of your face**


	3. Letting Go Is Just Another Way

**We had the right love**   
**At the wrong time**   
**Guess I always knew inside**   
**I wouldn't have you for a long time**

"Darren, no," he heard the whisper from the doorway as he curled up a little more into himself on the couch, "sweetie, you know that doesn't help."

He nodded but his eyes were glued to the screen in front of him, "Reruns are on."

"I can see that," Dianna joined him on the couch, "You shouldn't…"

"What else do I have left, Di?"

He knew the tone of his voice was beyond pathetic, but watching the old episodes was something he hadn't been able to resist since they wrapped. He was clinging to the past in an unhealthy way, but despite others telling him he would get over it soon, that he would find a way to move on, it wasn't happening. It had been more than a year and while he managed to put on a happy face for the public, there were moments away from almost everyone when he allowed himself to crash.

"Did he…?" Dianna started tentatively, but didn't finish the sentence when Darren's face crumbled.

She had moved in a few months earlier, insisting that she needed the company in New York, though Darren was pretty sure it was a case of her having drawn the short straw. Her boyfriend was in LA and she had work in New York for a while, so her temporary roommate status was, according to her, convenient.

"No," Darren whispered, "Not since the premiere."

He got a few text messages and _one_ phone call from Chris when his new show started and then… nothing again. The show was running and Darren was on stage most days, always catching his breath when he found out a comp ticked was picked up. But it was never _him_ , never the familiar pair of bright eyes that Darren longed to see.

"It's not like I'm expecting him to fly in from London," he sighed into Dianna's shoulder, "It's just a show."

"Dar," Dianna pulled him closer, "honey…"

When Darren turned the volume up on the TV instead of answering, Dianna got the hint and didn't say any more. They watched the screen without speaking and Darren didn't even bother hiding his tears when the final episode's last scenes came to a close. He heard Dianna sigh next to him, both of them letting the nostalgia seep through their minds.

"He'll find his way back, Darren," Dianna said quietly.

"There's no _back_."

"There is. You two always had something to go _back_ to, neither of you just ever named it."

"Well, at least he won't have excuses to use if he ever makes it here," Darren grumbled.

His mind drifted back to a week of him falling apart spectacularly in a more public way than he ever wanted to. The week that had likely prompted Dianna's sudden need for a place to stay, the one that left a trail of maybe not front page but still headlines that resulted in interviews that completely erased his 'straight' label. He shuddered at the memory because that was definitely not the way he'd wanted his life to be.

" _When_ he comes here," Dianna insisted.

Darren sighed yet again and wrapped his arms around his knees as he curled into Dianna's side, eyes trained back on the TV where anything could've been playing. What he saw were replays of his last scenes with Chris, before their paths went separate ways.

"Did you talk to him?"

The question slipped from Darren's lips before he could think about it. He didn't _want_ to know, not like the last time when Lea's comment made it obvious that Chris _was_ in touch with people, just not with Darren. But he wanted to know how Chris was doing without having to resort to scouring the internet. Without making himself feel even worse by placing yet another call that would inevitably go unanswered. He felt Dianna's fingers tighten around his shoulder and that was answer enough for the moment.

**Letting go is just another way to say  
I'll always love you so**


	4. All That I'm Asking For

**Gravity pulls and**   
**We fall from the clouds**   
**We prove to each other**   
**That we're both human now**

His eyes darted to Dianna and Lea before they finished whatever they, in eerie synchronization began saying. The glare was strong enough to make them both shrink back, Dianna holding her hands up in defense and sympathy clear in her eyes.

"Look, I just want to get through tonight. One more time and then I'll have to try and figure out my life all over again," he sighed, "So just… I don't want my hopes up and then crash at the end of the night more than I already will."

"Darren…" Lea reached for his hand and he managed a weak smile, "Break a leg."

It wasn't what he expected her to say, so as she hugged him and pulled Dianna out of the dressing room, he stayed quiet, unable to respond or even figure out if he was supposed to.

"Ten minutes until call time, Darren," someone called through the open door and he took a deep breath, letting his eyes roam around the room.

There were cards and flowers and wrapping paper everywhere, but what caught his eye from the moment it arrived was the one flower arrangement that had been the biggest surprise. Lilies, or, as Lea informed him, stargazer lilies, kept demanding his attention until he caved and looked them up online. The meaning echoed the two words written on the small card, handwritten so Darren knew the sender had been in New York, had written the card in person but didn't bring the flowers over in person.

_How dare you?_

He thought the same thought every time his eyes landed on the bouquet, every time he remembered the meaning, every time he re-read the card. His emotions whirled through anger, disappointment, hope and love with no pattern, but an almost intolerable speed.

"How dare he say he misses me?" he'd cried on Dianna's shoulder earlier, when the girls came to see him before the last performance and had found him sitting on the floor with the flowers in his hands, "How dare he _be here_ , say _this_ and not… Why didn't he come?"

Neither of them had an answer for him, though they both tried to start saying that maybe… but Darren wouldn't let them finish. He didn't want to think of even the possibility of seeing that one familiar face in the audience. Most of the comp tickets were taken by people he knew, since it was the last performance, the last time he would be up on this particular stage with this play.

"Call time," he whispered to the empty room and stepped out of the door, hands clenched by his sides.

**Knowing mistakes are being mistaken again**   
**It's in the past tense**   
**There is no making sense of it now**

There was a half second during curtain call when his eyes darted across the rows of people standing in the audience when he thought his heart would stop. But then he blinked and the pair of familiar eyes was no longer in his view.

_Stop daydreaming_ , he chastised himself as the cast pulled him out yet again.

When he finally made it through the hugs and handshakes and congratulations and well-wishing from the cast, crew and his friends who made the trip, he all but fell into his dressing room, desperately needing some breathing space.

"Hi," a whisper made him whip his head around to the corner where the flowers had been displayed before, "I thought you'd throw these away."

Darren stared, his mind reeling and words completely out of the realm of possibility, like the sight in front of him had been only moments earlier.

"You're here," he finally managed to choke out.

"I wouldn't miss it," Chris turned away from the lilies, eyes brimming with tears, "I couldn't."

"But…"

"I'm sorry," Chris' voice broke, "I've taken too long, didn't I? It's too late…"

Darren couldn’t move. His brain was about to explode with questions, answers, possibilities and doubts, still trying to figure out if the moment was real, if _Chris_ standing in his dressing room was real.

"For what?" he asked quietly, "Too late for what, Chris?"

_Please don't break me. I can't take more of this. I can't ask what I want to ask, but please don't shatter everything even more._

"For us," Chris stepped closer, hesitantly stretching his arm towards Darren, palm up.

"Chris…"

"Please… I know I don't deserve a chance, I _know_ , but…"

There was a single tear rolling down Chris' cheek. Darren couldn't pull his eyes away from it and stepped forward, his fingers reaching up and caught it, lingering on the soft skin.

"It's not too late," he whispered, "It never would've been."

**All that I'm asking for  
You're all that I'm asking for**


	5. No Regrets Just Love

**My heart stops when you look at me**   
**Just one touch, now baby I believe**   
**This is real, so take a chance**   
**And don't ever look back, don't ever look back**

This time, when he watches Chris walk towards him, there's no mistaking that look for the one his mind flashes back to. It's not a scene and it's not Kurt looking at Blaine. He knows this look better now, the past few years he has had to pinch himself occasionally to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Ready?" Chris finally takes his final step and links his fingers with Darren's.

"I've been ready since our trial run," Darren nudges Chris' shoulder as they turn towards the closed double door.

"Wait," Chris squeezes his fingers, "just a second."

Darren freezes and turns his eyes to Chris, fear suddenly shaking him to the core.

"No, Dar, baby, no," Chris immediately recognizes the panic, "I just…"

He presses his lips to Darren's gently, only a brush, reverent and loving.

"Don't," Darren gasps when Chris pulls back, "Don't ever scare me like that again."

"I love you," Chris brushes a fingers across Darren's cheek, wiping away a stray tear, "I am never going away."

"Love you too," Darren sighs, "Forever."

They stand in silence for a moment, hands on each other's cheeks until their breathing calms down again and their heartbeats even out.

"Let's make forever official," Darren grabs Chris' hand and steps towards the door.

He knows they don't need to, that they have forever and not one of their friends behind this door doubts it, but he wants to. He wants to say the words in front of everyone, to promise Chris everything, to recite the vows and mean them like he's never meant anything else in his life before. He wants to have a memory of this not marred by anything.

The firm grip of Chris' fingers around his own tells him that he's not the only one.

**I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece  
I'm complete**


End file.
